You’ve been dating a while and things are going great so it’s only natural that you might start wondering if he’s getting ready to pop the question. In fact, if you are ready to get married, you are probably already talking to your friends and family, hoping that they will reassure you that your wait is almost over.
Of course, as I’ve explained to my counseling clients in the past, it’s always better to wait until it actually happens because many a woman has been let down and disappointed by making too many assumptions. Still, if you can’t help but analyze his every move in anticipation, here are some signs that he’s going to propose any day.
He’s suddenly interested in your jewelry
Whether it’s some cheap hand candy you picked up at the mall or a cherished item you’ve worn for years, chances are your man hasn’t really shown too much of an interest in what’s on your fingers aside from, maybe, the passing compliment here or there.
If, suddenly, he is asking you about the styles you prefer, whether certain rings fit you better than others, and what size you are, it’s safe to assume that there’s a reason for all of his questions. After all, he can’t surprise you with an engagement ring if he doesn’t know what to buy!
He’s watching his budget
In case you haven’t noticed, engagement rings can be pretty expensive. While many can be purchased through credit or installment plans, it still takes some planning to afford one of these baubles. On top of that, if you say yes, he’s probably aware of the fact that weddings also require money!
He might suggest staying in rather than heading out to your favorite restaurant on date night, or skips his morning coffee run for home-brewed instead. Either way, if you notice he’s pinching his pennies lately, he might be saving for something important!
He has been chatting with your friends and family
We all want our significant other to be on good terms with our friends and family and, in best case scenarios, everyone falls into a casual, amicable rhythm which makes get-togethers comfortable and fun.
When you notice that your partner is exchanging phone calls and messages with your loved ones but no one is talking about what’s going on, it could be a sign that he’s asking for help and advice in preparation of a proposal!
He’s spending less time with his buddies
When we first meet someone, they typically have their own routine with their friends. Maybe they do a poker night, workout together, or gather for the big game on a weekly basis. Pretty standard stuff.
Some years ago in counseling, a client mentioned that her boyfriend was bailing on his “boys” more frequently, and was worried that something was wrong. It turned out that he was just growing tired of the single life!
If you notice that your significant other is opting out of those “guy nights” on a more regular basis in order to spend more time with you, there’s a good chance that he’s preparing to settle down and focus on taking your relationship to the next level.
He uses “we” when talking about the future
Whether he’s discussing plans to travel the world or is simply looking into buying a new car, pay attention to the language he’s using. Is he still speaking in singular terms and focusing on his own interests or have things changed? This seemingly small shift in word choice could mean he’s mentally preparing to be part of a unit.
When your man starts saying “we” more often when talking about the future, it means that he’s including you in his plans. It’s a definite indication that he envisions having you by his side which probably means he is — at the very least — considering a proposal.
He wants your opinion on children
During the casual dating phase, children may have come up but it’s unlikely that any serious conversation took place. For the most part, new couples tend to avoid the topic for fear of scaring the other person off.
If your partner has started broaching the subject and wants to know more about how you feel about having (or not having) children, it’s a sign that he is getting more serious about your relationship. This is one of the most important things to discuss before getting engaged so it’s likely that that a proposal is on his mind.
He’s banished you from certain areas of the house
Have you noticed that his desk drawer is suddenly locked or have you been told to avoid the guest room linen closet at his parent’s house at all costs? If it’s obvious, he’s doing a terrible job of hiding the fact that there’s something that he doesn’t want you to see.
Of course, it could be anything, really, so don’t immediately get your hopes up! But if he’s normally not a shady and secretive person, it’s probable that there’s an engagement ring being stashed away until just the right moment.
All of his friends are engaged or married
It’s incredible how, one day, everyone around you is single, carefree, and young, and the next, people are coupling up and settling down. It really does seem to happen overnight. If all of your partner’s friends have gotten engaged or married, he’s probably feeling the pressure.
That’s not to say, of course, that any proposal you get is the result of him feeling obligated to do it in order to fit in with everyone else. It is usually just a sign, however, that you’ve reached a certain stage in your relationship and now you must make a decision about taking the next step! Be ready!
Everyone is acting weird
If everyone in your life is suddenly acting secretive and weird, they are probably hiding something. You will be able to tell pretty quickly if it’s something terrible or something wonderful, so, if people are acting skittish but still have smiles on their face, they may know that something amazing is about to happen in your life.
If you’ve figured out that a proposal is imminent, stay calm and let things unfold at their own pace. Don’t prod for more information or spoil the surprise. Your significant other has probably put a lot of effort into preparing for this moment so relinquish control and let him do his thing!
Don’t put on the pressure
The end goal for many men and women is to get married. That’s totally fine unless it interferes with the enjoyment and development of the relationship. Don’t rush it and don’t put pressure on yourself or anyone else to get married.
If, over time, you don’t feel like you and your partner are on the same page, have a conversation. Check in and let them know how you feel and listen carefully to their response. If marriage isn’t in their plans, you will have to respect that. Bullying someone into a wedding will not make either of you happy, so avoid that at all costs.
At the end of the day, remember that things will get so much more serious once you combine households, bank accounts, and start having kids. So think of these early months and years as the foundation that will keep you strong when the going gets tough.
Above all else, be patient and loving so that, when the proposal does happen, it will feel like everything you’ve done has built up to that incredible moment!