When it comes to dating, we can spend an exorbitant amount of time wondering if someone we’re interested in is just as into us. Turns out, that person is probably just as confused when it comes to deciphering women’s signals in the romance arena.
For any man or woman out there who may be wondering if that lady you have your eye on is attracted to you, there are some signs that you can look out for that will help you decide whether she really is interested or if she just considers you to be in the “friend zone.”
While some behaviors may be obvious, there are other more subtle hints that love is in the air.
It’s all in the eyes
According to Dr. Jeremy Nicholson, a psychologist better known as the “Attraction Doctor,” you can learn a lot by how a woman looks at you. After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul, right?
If a woman tends to hold your gaze a little longer than usual, that can be a sure sign she is considering you as more than just a friend or co-worker.
Of course, we’ve all heard stories of a couples who see each other from across a crowded room, lock eyes, and bam: it’s love at first sight. Generally, though, it’s a little more subtle.
Trust me about one thing: if we are into you, we are looking at you and checking you out … a lot. Have you turned your head towards a woman and caught her watching you, only to see her quickly turn away in embarrassment? Well, you can assume that this is a very positive sign of attraction.
So, as a general rule, if a woman looks directly into your eyes and holds that gaze, or if you catch her checking you out frequently, you can take it as a sign that she is thinking about more than just her grocery list.
Body language says it all
A really good sign that a woman is attracted to you can be found in her body language. According to Nicholson, when a female is interested in you, she will have an open and forward body language. Often, she will lean in towards you during conversation and there will be less personal space between the two of you.
“Other liking behavior” might include “feet pointing towards you and wiggling happily, legs uncrossed and comfortable, arms open and palms up, playfully fondling jewelry or hair, smiling, extended eye contact, or looking down shyly,” said Nicholson.
On the other hand, if a woman seems closed off or standoffish, with her arms crossed, you can assume it isn’t going to happen.
Laughing at just about anything you say
If we are into you, we will think anything you say is funny and we will laugh. Am I right, gals?
A study by German psychologists found that a woman’s laughter can reliably predict how attracted she feels about the person she’s with, according to an article in Psychology Today.
“The degree to which a woman laughed while talking to a man was indicative of her interest in dating him,” noted the publication.
She’ll find any excuse to touch you
Another behavior that shows that a woman is interested and attracted to someone is through touch. In fact, if there’s an attraction, we will find any excuse to reach out and touch their arms, shoulders, or hands.
As you sit near a woman, you’ll perhaps notice that she reaches out to touch your knee as she is making a point during conversation.
“Touch is one of the most heavily used signs a woman wants to be kissed, so if she’s interested in you there’s a good chance she’ll find some excuse to touch you,” notes Art of Charm. “And the more a girl touches you the safer it is to assume she’s interested.”
People don’t touch people they don’t like, so it she finds excuses to touch you, be near you, or brush up against you, she’s likely very into you.
The hair flip
Most of us don’t even realize we’re doing it, but when attracted to someone, women tend to touch their face, flip or twirl their hair, touch parts of their bodies, or otherwise draw a potential love interest’s attention to their attributes. It’s completely subconscious and primal.
Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt, now honorary director of the Ludwig-Bohzmann Institute for Urban Ethology in Vienna, noted that “a woman presenting her extended neck to a man she wants is not much different … than a gray female wolf’s submissiveness to a dominant male she’s after.”
“By swaying her hips, or emphasizing them in a form-fitting dress, a flirtatious woman is riveting attention on her pelvis, suggesting its ample capacity for bearing a child. By arching her brows and exaggerating her gaze, her eyes appear large in her face, the way a child’s eyes do, advertising, along with giggles, her youth and ‘submissiveness.’ By drawing her tongue along her lips, she compels attention to what many biologists believe are facial echoes of vaginal lips, transmitting sexual maturity and her interest in sex. By coyly averting her gaze and playing ‘hard to get,’ she communicates her unwillingness to give sex to just anyone or to someone who will love her and leave her,” notes the article in Psychology Today.
OK, that’s getting pretty hardcore into the primal reasons why women act a certain way when attracted to someone. But these behaviors are real, so take note.
Drawing attention to her mouth
Women tend to draw attention to their attributes to attract someone. Because a sexual relationship often begins with a kiss, women will subconsciously draw focus to her lips and mouth. Nearly every woman will touch her face or lick or bite her lips while interacting with a potential love interest to indicate that she wants to be kissed.
“If a woman is thinking about kissing you, then she may start to become preoccupied with lips,” notes Art of Charm. “She may start licking or rubbing her own lips, or her eyes will more-than-occasionally dart down to look at yours.”
Texting means she’s thinking of you
Women have an innate need to communicate, and you can be sure that if a woman texts or calls you out of the blue or frequently, she is thinking about you and wants to reach out.
It used to be that couples often began their courtships through love letters. In fact, many psychologists still suggest that potential couples continue the ancient art of letter writing to fuel romance.
Today, however, falling in love typically occurs through love texts, replete with lots of relevant emoticons.
Happily ever after
We all want the same thing: to fall in love and have a partner that we can have fun with, confide in, and rely upon. Finding the right person can be difficult, and dating can be so very frustrating and confusing.
Hopefully these clues about women and what they do when they are into you (making eye contact, laughing, and finding excuses to touch you, to name a few things) will help you find your dream girl.