Ways to make yourself feel sexy

We’ve all had one of those days when you wake up just not feeling like the gorgeous bombshell that you are. Whether it’s because you ate pizza, ice cream, or had a couple extra glasses of wine the night before, or it happens to be that time of the month and Aunt Flow is leaving you busting at the seams, or it’s just one of those days — we’ve all been there.

When you wake up feeling less than sexy, all it takes is a simple trick or two, to rock those beautiful vibes again. For those days when you’re not quite feelin’ that #iwokeuplikethis selfie, fire up a few of these tips, and you’re guaranteed to feel like your sexy self all day long.

Have a dance party

I’ve never been one to brag about my dancing skills, or lack thereof, and I’m not about to start now, but if there’s one thing you can do immediately after waking up when you’re just not feeling like a hottie in your body, I suggest turning on some feel good tunes and having a little dance party with yourself, your partner, or your kids.

According to Berkeley Wellness, “Dancing may also be good for your mood. It has been shown to reduce depression, anxiety, and stress, and boost self-esteem, body image, coping ability, and overall sense of well-being, with the benefits lasting over time.”

Get dressed up

Getting dressed up doesn’t mean you have to break out your black tie attire or the nicest dress hanging in your closet, but it means putting on something that makes you feel beautiful, sexy and confident. I know when I’m not feeling my best, it’s easy to reach for a pair of leggings and a big sweatshirt, and to throw my hair back in a ponytail to “hide” my body as much as possible. But yeah — this behavior isn’t doing me any favors.

“Clothes have developed from a practical asset to a social marker: they affect the way we see ourselves,” Psychologist World reported. “They help us to be seen in the light that we wish to be, and also exude our personalities and social status.” Instead of reaching for that oversized t-shirt, grab a flirty and girly top, a pair of jeans and your favorite pair of shoes.

Get a new hair do

When was the last time you got a hair cut or treated yourself to a day at the salon? For me, it’s been over a year. No joke, I haven’t even gotten a trim. I always considered my long locks to be a sexy feature, but over the last few months I’ve noticed a not-so-sexy trend: I wear my hair in a top knot every single day. It’s to the point that when I wear my hair down my coworkers are shocked that I can fit so much hair into such a small bun all the time. I started realizing that wearing my hair up wasn’t feeling sexy and when my hair was down, it felt more like a mop than something fun to flip around when I want to catch a glance.

As it turns out, I’m not alone in feeling this way. Huffington Post style editor, Madelyn Chung, said about chopping off her hair, “It made me realize, there’s a newfound confidence that comes along with cutting off your hair. Opting for shorter locks has that whole “f*ck-it-I-don’t-care-what-you-think” attitude to it, and really, what’s more sexy than that?” Needless to say, there’s a trip to the salon in my future.

Swap out your undies

Are you still wearing that pair of stained, hole-filled underwear? Girl, swap that out! According to French lifestyle coach, Tonya Leigh, “Everything is about intention. If a woman is wearing something beautiful underneath her clothing, she sends a very powerful message to herself and the world, and we see it as confidence and mystique.”

Just think of those days when your underwear matches your bra, and while you know no one will actually see it, you can’t help but smile and find yourself feeling like you just may actually have your life — or at least your underpinnings — together.

Try pole dancing

I once had a coworker who would always work late, except on Wednesdays because she went to a yoga class. She always told me how much she loved the class and how it made her feel so empowered. When I chose to leave that job, I wasn’t in a great place and often found myself feeling stressed and very self conscious. On my last day, she confessed that the yoga classes she had been attending weren’t yoga classes at all, but rather pole dancing classes. Turns out, she was on to something.

“Many fitness regimes focus only on changing the way we look. It’s about the end result and not the process. This leads many women to view working out as a chore. Pole dancing flips that principle by teaching skill-based moves that are challenging yet fun. This redirects the energy away from what your body looks like toward what it can do, which is a much healthier way to keep fit,” says NYC-based pole dance instructor, Irmingard Mayer.

Be spontaneous

It’s so easy to get caught in our normal day-to-day routines and agendas. Wake up, get in a workout, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, check the mail, make dinner, put the kids to bed, and then pass out. When we find ourselves stuck in a regimented routine, it can be hard to feel sexy. If you have kids or had a long day at the office, sexiness can be the last thing on your mind when your partner comes up behind you, puts their arms around your waist — and you’re pretty sure there’s oatmeal in your hair, and nothing sounds better than falling asleep on the couch.

I love the way marriage and family therapist, Dr. Jane Greer, describes spontaneity. “If you are at a party and your favorite song comes on, you wouldn’t finish eating, carefully fold your napkin, take another drink and risk getting out onto the dance floor with only the last notes of that song left,” she says. “No, you’d jump up, grab your partner’s hand, enjoy dancing to the song, and get back to everything else after. Sometimes life gets in the way of the moment, and in letting that happen you let the passion evaporate. The next time your partner gives you that romantic snuggle, try to go with the flow.”

Practice self love

I feel that this tip may be the most important. When we practice loving ourselves and our bodies, just as they are — each and every day — we can’t help but feel sexier.

As Pamela Madesn, author of Shameless, says “This is what I can promise. If you work on embracing who you are, every single day just like a religious practice — things will change in your world. In so many ways, it is like developing a healthy eating and exercising plan. There is a lot of self-encouragement and coaching that has to happen.”

Mix, match and repeat

What works for some ladies may not work for all and what works one day may not be your solution the next. What makes you feel sexy every day definitely takes a little trial and error and playing around, but as you mix and match these ideas, regardless of the day you’re having, you’re going to feel like the beautiful unicorn that you are. Own it, ladies!